Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
