he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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