ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
