is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
