um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
