If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
