omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
