i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
