i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
