he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
