the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
