Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
