i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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