I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The dick lei will go down in squad history
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
