There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Still dying that you shit outside
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
