OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
