didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
