NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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