So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
