I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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