what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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