I need to stop coming to work sober
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
