I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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