If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
