Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
