I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
