So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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