Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
