WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
