Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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