i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
