Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
