what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
