oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
