It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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