I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
No I am not eating basil off your cock
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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