Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
