I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
