We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
