So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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