Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
