I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
