If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
