well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
