Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize