The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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