Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
