I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
