I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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