1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
